blank canvas

I sat down today with every intention of writing about my recent trip to Seoul, but at the last minute, I decided to change the direction of this post.  If you know me well, this shouldn’t be a surprise.

For the last couple months, I’ve been on the edge of my seat worrying about where to go and what to do after this Beijing journey ends. In a blink of an eye, I stepped off the plane, started school, relearned how to ride a bike, celebrated 24 years of life, and now, almost a year has passed and I’m finding myself already mentally packing up the memories I’ve created here.  The canvas I painted last year is once again blank, and I’m checking off “live abroad in China” on my to-do list.

**To-do lists should never include, “do laundry”, “write thank you cards”, or “go to the gym.”  There’s too many opportunities in life to focus on the little details of your day.  Aim further. Aim higher.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to have the opportunity to make this kind of decision, but with this power comes the underlining questions:  

Am I making the right choice? What should I do? What do I want to do? What if it’s the wrong decision? 

Where’s a personal life assistant when you need them?

With the world at my finger tips, I can move anywhere.  If I really wanted to, I could move to Italy and eat gelato at seven in the morning, or have a picnic underneath the eiffel tower in Paris. I could move to Panama and create the next episode of Unstoppable Anica, or move to Australia to live with kangaroos…that is, if I really wanted to.

After months of sleepless nights, endless hours of weighing options and bothering anyone and everyone around me who was willing to listen, the pieces are finally coming to together.

I’ve decided what I really want is to create an identity for myself.

Since graduating college, I’ve been floating from place to place – growing, learning, and transforming myself into the more confident, unstoppable girl that I am.  I’m exactly who I want to be right now.

But something’s missing, and that’s my career. I want to build a porfolio that I’m proud of to show the world, and as of right now, I’m not there yet. Not even close.  So with that said, I’ve decided to start this next chapter of my life first in Chicago, then eventually make my way to California (either LA or San Fran).   Through applying to the Isla Palenque intern contest, I’ve found a passion for creating and editing short videos.  Staying up until 5 am working on this project didn’t feel like work, but was something I throughly enjoyed and that I could see myself doing on a day to day basis. 

So on this new blank canvas, I will paint another plan, another story, and hopefully in a couple of years, I’ll be able to check off another goal on my to-do list. 

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