Writing is like walking through an unpaved forest.

For a while, you feel lost. Trapped in a moment of panic.

I start to focus on the details around me.

A puzzle where only your curiosity can guide you.

And in the end, more often than not, it will take me to the end of the forest.

It’s a view that only you, the explorer, the writer, can see.

456 days ago, I was eating pho on the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam.

10,957 hours ago, I got lost wandering around Chiang Mai, Thailand.

657,408 minutes ago, I was admiring the remains of Angkor Wat in Cambodia.

1 second ago, I reminded myself why I need to pack my suitcase again and go somewhere far, far away.

one last month,

one last week,

one last day, 

one last minute,

one last time.

Has the meaning behind what is “normal” become the fate of this so-called apocalypse? 

 Does this mean no more dressing like the mannequins at Gap?

Wait a minute, I have this outfit.

No more drinking Starbucks every morning? 

Don’t kid yourselves, you know Starbucks is the new must-have accessory.  

No more acting the way society expects us to?

Uh…but—  …wait, what?

We have a clear understanding of the right versus the wrong ways to act in public.  Unknowingly, we change who we are to fit certain stereotypes in the hopes of being accepted into this twisted, inner circle the media has carved out for us. People judge, ridicule, and look down on those individuals who have the confidence to do what others can’t— be themselves.

Why are humans so critical of others?  It’s always either this or that, left or right, normal or weird, Polo or Salvation Army. What if we looked at everyone a little differently?  Instead of judging people by the clothes they wear, the food they eat, or from our first impressions, we should take the time to get to know who they really are before putting our own labels on them.  I believe no matter how different we may seem to one another, we can always find something connecting us to each other. 

{Facebook: Connecting the World}

Living abroad has challenged me to look beyond what I thought was the norm for the past 24 years.  In the heart of China, I found myself standing at a crossroad between who I was and who I could become.

On one side, I was the girl who secretly judged those who wore Mickey Mouse t-shirts and Hello Kitty sweaters, sneering at the passerby’s who nearly spit hoagies on my leg, and even looked down on parents who let their children do their business on the side of the road.  I would question their choices, their habits, wonder how they were raised, and would whisper under my breath, ”…that’s so weird.” 

Then there’s the girl who over time learned to accept these cultural differences and embraced the Mickey Mouse loving, hoagie spitting, side-of-the-road-bathroom-using locals.  I started to love the community for who they are.  So what if we have different tastes in fashion or if they accidently spit on my face? (Unfortunately, this happened to me a couple months ago while on my bike) And who cares if they decide to take a piss on the side of the road? I’ll just make sure to set some newspaper down before sitting on the ground next time!

Obviously, I decided to become the girl I could be. 

This has been one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from Beijing.  It’s been a privilege to have this opportunity to see the world in a new perspective. If you ever have the chance to not only travel but to live abroad, please embrace it whole-heartedly. Keep an open mind wherever you live.

Think twice before judging. Or judge, but think again. 

China’s been Gaga-fied.

Normal is out. Accept that.

WHAT??  什么??  뭐??  những gì??

Trust me, exploding fruit bombs is not a normal occurrence in China. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about the use of pesticides on most of the produce here.

As you may know, one of China’s biggest concerns is not having enough food to feed their over 1 billion citizens. Along with the pressures from China’s current economic progress, the Chinese are willing to do whatever it takes to bring in more profit. Even if it means using chemicals to enhance the growth of their crops.

{image source}

Having lived in Beijing for the past year, I’ve experienced first hand the effects of living with no consumer confidence. Let me tell you, it’s not a great feeling not knowing what’s safe and unsafe to eat. On many occasions, I’ve found myself lurched over the toilet, and even in the hospital at one point because I didn’t wash the vegetables “properly”, whatever that means. I’ve been told by several people not to trust the big corporations, while at the same time, not to shop at the small markets selling fruits, vegetables and eggs.

So what am I suppose to eat if I can’t go to the grocery stores or local markets without the risk of dying from food poisoning? That’s a question I’m still trying to answer myself, which is a problem because this girl’s gotta eat!

So pushing aside the horrible memories on my bathroom floor, the only real solution for me is to risk my health and only hope the groceries I buy has not been drenched in chemicals. There’s been times when my bananas and tomatoes tastes like medicine (aka pesticides/growth hormones) and I’ve had to throw them out, but honestly, what can you do when you’re living here for one year? 

My conclusion is this.  If the rest of the population is still alive, I should be fine too.  Hopefully….

*Treehugger.com is an up-to-minute blog dedicated to bringing sustainability to the world through green news. 

For the last couple months, I’ve been on the edge of my seat worrying about where to go and what to do after this Beijing journey ends. In a blink of an eye, I stepped off the plane, started school, relearned how to ride a bike, celebrated 24 years of life, and now, almost a year has passed and I’m finding myself already mentally packing up the memories I’ve created here.  The canvas I painted last year is once again blank, and I’m checking off “live abroad in China” on my to-do list.

**To-do lists should never include, “do laundry”, “write thank you cards”, or “go to the gym.”  There’s too many opportunities in life to focus on the little details of your day.  Aim further. Aim higher.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to have the opportunity to make this kind of decision, but with this power comes the underlining questions:  

Am I making the right choice? What should I do? What do I want to do? What if it’s the wrong decision? 

Where’s a personal life assistant when you need them?

With the world at my finger tips, I can move anywhere.  If I really wanted to, I could move to Italy and eat gelato at seven in the morning, or have a picnic underneath the eiffel tower in Paris. I could move to Panama and create the next episode of Unstoppable Anica, or move to Australia to live with kangaroos…that is, if I really wanted to.

After months of sleepless nights, endless hours of weighing options and bothering anyone and everyone around me who was willing to listen, the pieces are finally coming to together.

I’ve decided what I really want is to create an identity for myself.

Since graduating college, I’ve been floating from place to place – growing, learning, and transforming myself into the more confident, unstoppable girl that I am.  I’m exactly who I want to be right now.

But something’s missing, and that’s my career. I want to build a porfolio that I’m proud of to show the world, and as of right now, I’m not there yet. Not even close.  So with that said, I’ve decided to start this next chapter of my life first in Chicago, then eventually make my way to California (either LA or San Fran).   Through applying to the Isla Palenque intern contest, I’ve found a passion for creating and editing short videos.  Staying up until 5 am working on this project didn’t feel like work, but was something I throughly enjoyed and that I could see myself doing on a day to day basis. 

So on this new blank canvas, I will paint another plan, another story, and hopefully in a couple of years, I’ll be able to check off another goal on my to-do list. 

Ironically, the only country I’ve traveled to so far is China. Which means I’ve only been to TWO countries total (U.S and China). This is NOT okay. If I want to become the world traveler that I am, I need to step it up and empty my wallet.

So the first country on my list is South Korea.  I’m heading to the airport in 2 hours. If you want to join, just hop in my suitcase.  Who’s in?!

Bye Beijing! See you next week!

Tune in next week for an unstoppable post about my trip to Seoul.

But while I’m gone, don’t forget to check out my new T.V show, Unstoppable Anica.

Check out the episodes here!

Yesterday was picture perfect.  The sun engulfed the city, leaving no prisoners behind, and imprinted on me an amazing farmer’s tan (did I mention I’m from Kansas?).  During the next three hours, I pedaled from the familiar to the unfamiliar, surrendering every stress and worry with each turn of the wheel.  There’s something about the transition from winter to summer that rejuvenates your mind and body.   With every piece of clothing shed, the weight of the world feels much lighter as the spring’s first sun ray hits your face.  As I rode passed every concrete stacked building to my left and giant city skyscrapers to my right, I was reminded of that first day I explored Beijing. I remembered the exhilaration of stepping foot into this city full of undiscovered secrets. This excitement of not knowing where this day was going to take me, and more importantly, not caring to know where it was going to take me, made me feel at ease.

I’m thankful that even after almost a year, this fire inside me has yet to burn out. It’s easy, when living abroad, to become so comfortable within your day to day environment that you lose the will to discover.  When you lose the will to discover, you lose the will to learn. When you lose the will to learn, you lose the will to live a meaningful life. I hope that even when I’m 90, I’ll still have the passion to discover, learn, and live.

I had such a great day exploring that I was dreading when the day would end.  So instead of tucking myself to bed,  I decided to stay up to watch the sun rise.  My friend Tom came along for this midnight picnic, and we set up camp on a ledge in front of a high-rise business building in Wudaokou.  Not gonna lie, I’m a pro when it comes to camping out. We had a blanket, beers and soju, and music (because lets face it, what’s better than dance parties at the break of dawn?). We spent the morning hours chatting about where we wanted to go and what we want to do in the future.  Life seriously doesn’t get any better than this.

 It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.

I would make you see true beauty.

If I could open your mind,

I would change your thoughts.

If I could open your heart,

I would fill it with love.

If I could open your hands,

I would place the world in your palms.

If I could, would you let me?

With midterms coming up, I’ve been trying really, really hard not to enjoy life so much and study a tad bit more. It’s not looking too good.

On the bright side, I booked a flight to SEOUL for the beginning of May!!!!!&%#@!! Can you tell how excited I am??  What started out as an idea turned into a man standing at my door an hour later handing me my tickets.  I know, it’s definitely out of the blue, but I don’t care!  People don’t call me spont-anica for nothing!

It doesn’t matter if it’s running downstairs to smash a coconut or booking a ticket to Korea on a whim, just do something spontaneous today, so you won’t have regrets later.